![]() ![]() You need to find connection with yourself. ![]() You can’t address your own experience of loneliness just by finding connection with the people around you. There’s nothing wrong with these things, but I think there’s a deeper opportunity here that shouldn’t be missed-and that’s what this essay is about: It’s why we’re scrambling for connection and cures to boredom. ![]() But the more I pay attention to how “adults” are managing in this moment, the more I believe this message isn’t just for young people.Īt the root of so much of our experience right now is a face-to-face encounter with loneliness. The way I thought about it was that when you grow up constantly connected, never needing to be bored at all, it’s easy to completely overlook the importance of building a relationship with yourself. That’s why we fill the moments between Zoom calls with puzzles, reading lists, new baking habits, virtual workout classes and endless social media scrolling.īut what if we didn’t need to fill those moments? About this essayīesides this introduction, I originally delivered this as a TEDx talk for a group of high school students in February 2020, just before quarantine and our new normal. The impatience is real, and we’re all feeling it. You’re alone, bored and ready for this shit to end. As much as you know that there’s a world out there-a world you were just seeing through the wizardry of high speed connection and built-in front facing cameras-the afterglow of that video context just doesn’t last. You’re still in the same seat you’ve been in for weeks, breathing the same air, staring at the same wall. When you hit “Leave Meeting” and the stereo white noise from other people’s bedrooms cuts out, the quiet hits quick. It just doesn’t quite taste the same as, well, real life. Something to remind us that we aren’t just surviving.īut the context that Zoom gives us is weak. And maybe if we add on some things we would never imagine doing before-live video karaoke, video chat game nights, virtual weddings, book clubs!-we might experience some triumph of spirit. Maybe if we can keep on having our happy hours-or dates, birthday celebrations, conferences-we’ll have a reason to tell our jokes, to wear a different shirt for once, to stay motivated to keep working. What good is my humor if no one laughing? Why do I have so many clothes if I’m wearing the same 3 outfits every single day? What’s the point of me trying to do anything at all in a world that I can barely see, touch, or feel? As we continue to conduct our entire lives from the same few hundred square feet for more than 2 months, we begin to lose our context.Ĭontext gives us a sense of purpose and reason. Now may be a great time to get to know yourself. ![]()
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